Could this end up being a monologue?

Sometimes when I have classes on Mondays or Wednesdays, I park on the north side of Pima so that I don't have to walk that far. Up on the hill near the buildings, there is a fenced off playground where the students can drop off their kids for daycare. There's another room set aside in the actual building where they take care of the kids. But anyways the playground is the usual set up: slide, jungle gym, things you can spin and the little balls rattle around inside, a small garden filled with petunias. I'll be walking up the hill, which sadly can tire me out, but that's before having to climb three flights of stairs. I need any exercise I can get. And on rare occasions catch the children outside have the time of their lives. It's funny when you really look at them and wonder, to them, how life is just one big play-place. The boys have their little posse already established and the girls are playing a game with one of the adults; something like making funny sounds like toothpaste coming out of a tube, that BLOOP/PLOP noise. No one is hating on the other, no one is having fights and none of them have a care in the world.

Then it hits you in the back of your mind, how short childhood actually is. That innocence just dies off once you hit puberty and then everything goes to hell. I try to imagine what each child will be like in 10 years. Will that blonde girl be prom queen? What job will that boy have? Will these kids still be friends? Or maybe ask even more reality-based questions. Will he get a girl pregnant? Will those girls soon be selling themselves for a quick buck? How many will fall through the grates into the shadows and pitfalls of society? Okay, maybe it's a tad grim. But seriously, look at everyone now. We never expected to be where we are at this exact moment in time. Whose to say these kids won't fall to gang violence or be murdered by a vengeful lover?

I walk on. Thinking to myself these unpleasant thoughts. But I can't help it. I just see the world for what it is. And how as soon as it gives the gift of youth and innocence, it can just as quickly snatch it away. Leaving us with empty souls and cruel motives.

"Forever young", Alphaville sings. I beg to differ.

Get to it Hot Stuff!

I was looking into some movie news today, you know just browsing. And I see this article that says "Wanna Be in Josh Whedon's Avengers?" advertising a casting call. First thing in my mind is "I'm not big comic book fan but hell sign me up!" But then I keep reading. And it says that it's to be held in Santa Fe, NM. Plus, it's this coming Wednesday. Way to live in the boonies.

That's the crap end of the deal when living in Tucson. Shit never happens. Of course we get a big celebrity concert or a hit Broadway musical or a hip, new clothing store or something exciting along those lines, every now and then. But it's too sporadic! The whole "small town" thing sort of works for me some days. While on others, it blows. The wild dreams that I have of achieving stardom of some degree are no means in my grasp so long as I continue to thrive (on what little I have left) in this dead end of a city. As they say, Tucson is the "place where dreams go to die." Boy, what a downer, eh?

Something I never noticed. When on the I-10 heading towards 1-19, there's a sign above the road that says 'City of South Tucson'. South Tucson is a city?! Why was I never informed? So confusing.

Anyways, it's not all bad. I haven't been in an active theatre production in a year at least. I'd like to do more. They were auditions for Anything Goes at Pima. But I chickened out and decided not to try out. Sort of the same way that I dropped my Musical Theatre class after one day. That teacher/"Broadyway star" gave me all the wrong vibes. And when those vibes talk, I listen. Maybe I wasn't ready or maybe I was really intimidated. I could always attempt it again. Possibly. Don't know. Hmph. There are a few theatre companies here. Live Theatre Workshop, for example. Moseley has done a couple shows that I went to watch and they've all been great. Plus the other Ecetera ones were cool, although too strange for the rest of my family. I liked them. So I guess I could go audition. Whenever they may be.

Theatre has always been on the top of my list as my college major. However, now it's conflicting with the possibility of a major in psychology. Animation kind of got thrown out, although I still enjoy to draw. But theatre still teases me. It's one of the several voices that echo through my noggin.

Don't worry Jan I feel you. No one listens to me either. I can understand why you despise Marcia.

But if I do pursue the stage, I don't really think education is all that important. Maybe not from a college professor at least. Acting classes totally. But to me, acting is more about experience. The only way to get better is to act, perform and learn from those experiences. But I guess I haven't really done enough to say so. Oh well.

It's getting late (or early?) so I'm out. I can't even type, my hands are shaking so much.

So as they say in the entertainment world, 'Seacrest out'.