When You Can't Sleep

"Early to bed, early to rise"

Ha. Like that's going to happen anytime soon.

"The early bird gets the worm."

I'm not a damn bird. And worms are weird.

"If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters."

Too true.

"I'd like mornings better if they started later."

This.

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up." - Benjamin Franklin