And..................................................................Scene

The first time I was ever involved in a full-on show was my junior year in High School. Actually, scratch that. It was when I was 8, or around that age, my mom signed me and my sister up in a production of Peter Pan at Live Theatre Workshop. Guess who I got stuck playing? Starts with an S ends with a MEE, can't guess? SMEE. Of course at the time I was pissed I didn't get to play the lead. But I learned to cope. Some girl played Peter. Though it sucked because my sister played Wendy so she got a better role. I didn't care, I kicked that role's ass. I can't recall much of how rehearsals or the actual performance went, except for that I screwed up the fight scene. Me and Captain Hook were supposed to have a duel with swords (cheap, Styrofoam ones of course) and as I reached to draw my weapon, it got caught in my waistline. I tried not to panic, so I had to improvise with an invisible one. But I don't think it went too bad.

But the only other true show I've ever been in was You're A Good Man Charlie Brown. That was the one in High School. I played Schroeder. Once again I had hoped for Charlie but alas was disappointed. I didn't care, I kicked that role's ass too. But seriously, I think that role fit me better after all; I'm quiet, enjoy music, and am kind of a control freak. That may have been some of the best memories of High School, because there wasn't much else to hang on to. Man, I miss Drama classes with Moseley and the wild schenanagins But anyways, back to Peanuts. Opening night was scary as hell, I didn't know what to expect or how the audience would like it. It passed by in a such a blur, before I knew it it was time for bows. And that was the day I first experienced what it was like to be an actor. I had felt everything from the stomach churns beforehand to the heavenly feeling afterwords. To be on top of the world for a moment, unable to be brought down was a sensation that's unforgettable. Hopefully I can do that in the future, but I'm not making much effort to find acting gigs. I'd like to make it a career, if that's what it can be called exactly, but I don't really want to major or study it. I'd rather just go out there and make a living out of it. I wouldn't care if I had to live off of scraps or make a few bucks a week or be given crappy characters; to do what I love would be it. Although I mean making it to Hollywood and getting a gig on TV or a movie wouldn't be too bad, or getting paid nicely. One can dream right?

Or in the words of Frankenfurter: "Don't dream it, be it."

I did other stuff in High School like a night of one acts consisting of three short one act/scenes including The Man of Infinite Sadness (Crying Man) and Sure Thing (Bill). Those were both fun. I got to say "Stupid cow" to a girl as the Crying Man. It kinda made me feel good doing that, hearing the three people in the audience gasp. I was pretty good at playing as asshole. That whole show bombed though. Hardly anyone showed up, except my parents and a few straglers. So that sucked. Besides that I did a few performances at SAFF (Southern Arizona Acting Festival, for those of you who do not know) and my personal favorite The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, which we did in class. Heck, I even threw on a leather jacket as Danny Zuko when we performed "Summer Nights" in front of the entire school. My hair was too long then so when we tried to grease it back I had a stupid looking mullet. Still we got the loudest applause due to all our hard work, unlike the Student Council/Football players who actually HIRED a choreographer for their "Greased Lightning" number. Bastards.

So why do I mention all this long and drawn out history. you may ask? Well I'm just reflecting on the past. I look back on all the things I've done so far and think to myself, "What will I do now?" I sit here typing and wondering what I want to make of myself and how I want to live my life outside of my bland bedroom. Do I want to pursue acting? Or do I want to follow the path of animation, my other choice?

Who do I want to be?