Kaput

I'm done. This paper is a piece of crap. I know it is. I only worked on it for a few hours. But I could care less. The works cited isn't indented. Whatever. I'm sure the references are exactly what I wasn't supposed to get. Too bad. The Presocratics have wore me out. No energy. Dead. Headache. Butt numb. Screw you honors teacher. Just be glad I'm in your stupid ass class. Night.

Shifting between Consciousness

Off to Vegas tomorrow for a couple of days. Not for vacation like you might think. But for what else, volleyball. I'll keep you posted.

Get to it Hot Stuff!

I was looking into some movie news today, you know just browsing. And I see this article that says "Wanna Be in Josh Whedon's Avengers?" advertising a casting call. First thing in my mind is "I'm not big comic book fan but hell sign me up!" But then I keep reading. And it says that it's to be held in Santa Fe, NM. Plus, it's this coming Wednesday. Way to live in the boonies.

That's the crap end of the deal when living in Tucson. Shit never happens. Of course we get a big celebrity concert or a hit Broadway musical or a hip, new clothing store or something exciting along those lines, every now and then. But it's too sporadic! The whole "small town" thing sort of works for me some days. While on others, it blows. The wild dreams that I have of achieving stardom of some degree are no means in my grasp so long as I continue to thrive (on what little I have left) in this dead end of a city. As they say, Tucson is the "place where dreams go to die." Boy, what a downer, eh?

Something I never noticed. When on the I-10 heading towards 1-19, there's a sign above the road that says 'City of South Tucson'. South Tucson is a city?! Why was I never informed? So confusing.

Anyways, it's not all bad. I haven't been in an active theatre production in a year at least. I'd like to do more. They were auditions for Anything Goes at Pima. But I chickened out and decided not to try out. Sort of the same way that I dropped my Musical Theatre class after one day. That teacher/"Broadyway star" gave me all the wrong vibes. And when those vibes talk, I listen. Maybe I wasn't ready or maybe I was really intimidated. I could always attempt it again. Possibly. Don't know. Hmph. There are a few theatre companies here. Live Theatre Workshop, for example. Moseley has done a couple shows that I went to watch and they've all been great. Plus the other Ecetera ones were cool, although too strange for the rest of my family. I liked them. So I guess I could go audition. Whenever they may be.

Theatre has always been on the top of my list as my college major. However, now it's conflicting with the possibility of a major in psychology. Animation kind of got thrown out, although I still enjoy to draw. But theatre still teases me. It's one of the several voices that echo through my noggin.

Don't worry Jan I feel you. No one listens to me either. I can understand why you despise Marcia.

But if I do pursue the stage, I don't really think education is all that important. Maybe not from a college professor at least. Acting classes totally. But to me, acting is more about experience. The only way to get better is to act, perform and learn from those experiences. But I guess I haven't really done enough to say so. Oh well.

It's getting late (or early?) so I'm out. I can't even type, my hands are shaking so much.

So as they say in the entertainment world, 'Seacrest out'.

Bangles

Me, Myself and Pie

I always find myself tasting some weird taste in my mouth. Sometimes it's metallic. Others it's blood. And sometimes it's whatever I happen to smell or see. Like I see a picture of an ugly person and then I smell a foul odor from out of no where. Strange things are happen' to me.

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Today was a photo finish. I woke up at 9:40, the time at which my PSY class starts. But it wasn't just any regular "I'll walk in late, it's cool." The first exam was today. And if I wasn't there by 10:10 I had to take the exam at the end of this semester. Major screwage. Miraculously, I managed to hop out of bed, throw on some used pants, make it out the door and book it all the way to the West campus in about 20 minutes. Bummer that I still arrived late. But boy did I luck the hell out. Mrs. (Ms.?) Willis let me slide this once. Also turned in my half-butt mind map, which I still have no clue how it is actually supposed to work. Whatever.

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I don't consider myself an Apple fanboy. I'm not going to stand outside for some day and a half for a new phone or tampon (iPad. Get it? No??? Damn.) The ironic thing is that I own a Mac, an iPod Touch, which by some miracle is still functioning, and now an iPhone. That's right peeps. For my b-day I gots me an iPhone. I've got Verizon so the things came out today. Woohoo! Now I can do things without WiFi. And be cool like everyone else.

But despite that...

I feel overcome with extreme guilt. I mean, don't get me wrong I've wanted a smart phone for a while. And I appreciate the things I get. It's just that, I feel bad. Thinking about it I am kind of spoiled. My parents are supporting me full time right now, I'm unemployed, and I get some pretty expensive crap every once in a blue moon. Ever since I became a teenager I've come to appreciate things greater. It's strange really. I haven't begged for shit unless I REALLY REALLY want it. Like, I've come to rationalize and make somewhat better decisions. I try not to spend money when I don't need to. And I feel bad whenever I get something on the pricey side. I've already sworn that when I become a big time actor and have lots of dough to spare, I want to pay back my family for what they've given me. Let's hope that turns out well.

So I've got a new gadget. And everyone's bugging me to plan a dinner or party or get together or something. Hell, I don't need a celebration. It doesn't bother me. I don't tell people when my birthday is. Then they find out and say "oh you should have told us!" What would you do? Give me a balloon? I'd rather just be anonymous. Better to just choose somewhere and get it over with.

Night you people I'm sure aren't even reading this.

Whoh what a coninkidink

Funny. Looking at the title of the last post I could have gone all Lady Antebellum and said:

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.

Strange things happen in life, don't cha know.

1:14 AM

Every time I decide to sit on the computer, I have to pee. There must be some sort of mechanism in my brain that says "Hey, time to wizz. Go now!" I am just chalk full of mysteries and strange occurrences.

Now that that little fact is out of the way, my day was meh.

I slept 'til noon so that's good, I guess. My sleep patterns are as all 'over the place' as Charlie Sheen's drug problems.

...

...

See? I can't really be funny. I can sit here in thought and attempt to crack a joke using some entertainment reference but it never works out. My sister says I'm a mood killer. Tis true. If I do make people laugh, it's because I'm a clutz. Not just any clutz. But THE clutz. Tonight I lost my phone but luckily someone found it and returned it to me through a mess of phone calls and texts. Lame. The Dare sucks major. It seemed cool at first but now, it's just a nuisance. Touch screen stinks, I can't type on it, it'll call and beep in my pocket. I'd love an iPhone or Droid but that'll never happen. So I have to live with what I got.

I kicked Russian butt at volleyball. As much as I hated playing it in high school, for some reason Sportspark has always been fun. Probably because it's just screwing around and not so strict on rules. Though the 'three guys thing' sucks. But really we played a team of Russians who I guess played on a professional team. We lost. Despite being called the 'Underdogs', we're not too shabby. For a bunch of college kids and a mom. Still, we had to play with four so it wasn't much of a fight. But we still did awesome. So there's that.

Tomorrow, has me up in Phoenix to watch (what else) volleyball. Yippie. Not. I need to get to a Toys R' Us so I can get my Pikachu, because I'm that much of a nerd. I need to read for my classes and start on a rough draft. Continue practicing my guitar, which is getting a bit better by the way. So as things stand, life is aight. Still boring and lonely as ever. But okay by normal standards.

I turn 19 in a week. But I really could care less.

When You Can't Sleep

"Early to bed, early to rise"

Ha. Like that's going to happen anytime soon.

"The early bird gets the worm."

I'm not a damn bird. And worms are weird.

"If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters."

Too true.

"I'd like mornings better if they started later."

This.

"I wake up every morning at nine and grab the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up." - Benjamin Franklin